As far as Im concerned, he is the only man I can get sexually aroused by. Compare apples to apples, Crazy Obsessed Man. Good luck!! It just isnt right. Thanks you! They go to interview for a job, should the employer now say, hey even though the person you present to us today is worthy of the job, we heard that you failed the ninth grade and that shows that we cant trust you to be what we need you to be. That example uses the same principle you are trying to stand on. Gods commandment is.. Thou shalt not fornicate. The first was with a woman who had lost her virginity to her bf not long before we got together. The number is certainly not all that matters. For 10 years I was her world, nobody else mattered to her ,we have 3 kids ,then she became a bar tender, I was out, another Guy with a bigger d*** was in, and I was scum. Now although this may not be the route you chose when it comes to sexuality it doesnt make you better than or more wise than the girl or guy who chose to have 100 + partners. I agree with you completely, and applaud you for being able to be abstinent again. Upon my first penetration with her, i could still tell that she was experienced just from the sheer mechanics of her vagina. I can tell you first hand from experience that the man and woman that waits has a love affair that lasts a life time. Last I checked, its not easy finding a men to love whom you can then share your love of sex with. Nobody is talking about women who are prudish or disinterested in sex. issuesshe is not responsible, etc. Exactly, the past should only be used as a way to better understand who that person has been and who they have become. You can keep the sluts for yourself I willdefinitelygo for the classy ones! ConsistentlyI foundand my friends agree, that these women with basketball numbersare the ones more likely todo littlemore flirting, and view thisas well asother innapropriate thingsas no big deal. If she's interested, there's clearly no problems from her end. oh,stacy,you live and learn.bigger fish too fry. So Stephan following your argument, if you would find a woman who 5-10 years ago had a gangbang and half of the town where you live had sex with her but now she is a very nice woman and has changed her values, you will embrace her and take her as your partner without having any problem or concern? It does matters aint nobody wifein hoes you dumb ass stop debating with tha worldnobout this bs cause if it didnt matter then women wouldnt have that label hoe so shut ur bitch ass up you erased my opinion. 4) Past baggage (Kids, men, pictures, etc ex lovers who know her, pics or video of ex partners doing unspeakable things to your significant other, stories and reputation) I have actually come And our son, how would he view women? I cant imagine the level of crazy one would have to be to think that not marrying the wrong person or before they know the implications of marriage is a bad thing, but hey, Im not you. Or is it just society told you to have a problem with that? Sometimes some of the same issues that are hurting that marriage are what contributed to that women even being promiscuous in the first place. The choices a person makes in life reflect upon that individuals character, and /everything/ is in the past, once the moment passes, so yes, how many people someone chooses to give their body to, and under what circumstances, certainly reflects upon that individual. In my attempt to be understanding, I heard her out about everything including listening to her tell me that she was very intoxicated, was caught off guard each time (wasnt planned), liked ONE of the guys, and that the other guy was his best friend/roommate. I completely understand where you are coming from. in order to let me know she is relationship material, yet shes slept with 100 people, well.I wasnt born yesterday. Error message when applying for student finance, Official Oxford 2023 Postgraduate Applicants Thread, Official LSE Undergraduate Applicants thread 2023, Official Dental Hygiene and Therapy (Oral Health Science) 2023 Entry Thread, Official UNIVERSITY of BATH 2023 entry thread. Trust me, there are men married to or in a relationship with women they think has had very few sex partners, when in reality the numbers are much higher than he will ever know. We have been together for almost a year now. Relationships are important, and looking at the PAST, how someone hasyou know/actually/ lived their lives tells you a lot about them. N yes i am over my ex, and thats why i can accept the truth and it doesnt hurt. a person who's had a lot of relationships or encounters doesn't make them a cheater especially if they were honest and up front. Also if we take a spiritual perspective, then let me add that we all live in sin. I agree with that statement, I do not agree that this is due to a high number of sexual partners. If you cant get in or she cant handle it can mess up the whole experience. Everyone has different tastes. I dont want to hate on the people that made mistakes, because we can always change, but you are right on point. One would have to define perfect first. Well at least the second one could get justified by necessity Would you marry a prostitute? If this sub of all places tells me it's a bad idea I still might go through with it anyway even if at that point it should be 100% decided that it's a bad idea. A person exposing the number of past partners has nothing to do with the present moments situation.. eliminated the need to be selective by being careful in terms of sex, due to He is a very successful and attractive man so I know for a fact that he has been with many, many women so I think we both know to not bring up the topic. Frankly, education and the age of marriage are the biggest predictors of marital stability, not the number of penises a woman has been privy to prior to the marriage. Like the article states you dont know why she chose to sleep with an individual or several. Could you find out from women's perspective why they sleep with others outside of serious relationships? let the common sense and reality flow into youThen get back to me, you enlightened woman you. She doesn't feel that she should have to settle down, and she thinks it's unfair that other women degrade her for this. No. I dont think the number should matter, personally. Generally speaking, women can have sex with whoever they choose, the same cannot be said for men. It seems that its not the case. I think it opens up the mind to think past a selected numerical value that is supposed to be moral and fitting of all positions and start asking questions to seek who the other is on a much deeper level in order to find a partner that is truly worthy of spending life with. I never said I wanted to date you or anyone like you, so your comment, No one is saying you have to date us, is a bit of a non-sequitor. In my eyes it matters is someone has had a decent approach to love and sex. Regardless of what it was, it shouldnt matter. Consider your 20s your best years is VERY subjective. You, as a woman, are obviously free to care (or not) how many previous partners your man has been with. you may have some serious issues and I would say that its too many. Men are not exempt! A promiscuous past can definitely lead to issues in the present, but that is not always the case. But then you are honest with them and now they arent so sure Have you ever heard of kegel exercises? This shouldnt matter, but you checking cell phones?? I believe having that talk will do a lot of good. EXACTLY and guess what: YOU ARE BEING JUDGED for having the wrong amount! So there is a responsibility on both ends. Women have the choice to say, yup im gonna let this guy inside me. These are the things that are going to be You have more preconceptions than aporcupinehas quills. Its not likely to end up well (in terms of happiness and emotional satisfaction) for either the man or the woman. Either way we can just agree to disagree. To people who are in love with someone that has had sex with THE DIFFERENCE IS A WOMANS BODY IS BUILT DIFFERENTLY AND THE WEAR AND TEAR IS MORE EVIDENT. Its become a trend now for premarital sex to happen but some girls don't approve it. The reason why I view the actual number irrelevant is due to this example: Lets say you meet a woman and she is amazing. FloralHybrid. I have sex like a man. Oh, and learn how to use Google. People that respect their bodies have healthy relationships, not hookups at the club every other week. I mean you right we shouldnt judge by tha way Im a lady but come on get real please no matter wat you say a woman first of all sleeping with over 20+ men shouldnt expect to be in a healthy good relationship with a man who hasnt slept around like she does this article is ridiculous for real cause you didnt mention that a woman should be a woman and have respect for her body and self-respect as a woman period. Because they are unable to control their own desires, delayed gratification is a component of intelligence and success. of this fact).But also realize that a marriage strike is on and is going to get bigger. I think you misunderstand the article, this is not an article to promote a womans right to be promiscuous. A lot of men would have a problem respecting and trusting a woman that is currently on or has been on the hoe stroll as you call it. All that energy goes to personal projects or commuter games. YOU WOULD OWN THAT SHIT. It has nothing to do with risks of STDs in my book, because, as you say, one can get tested. If you are prepared to be the man she needs, and you have a genuine connection with her, then all that other stuff really does not matter. I hope your relationship benefits greatly from it. Which is impossible. I actually thought it was clever. -Choices have consequences Ask her about how she views your relationship, and what she is hoping it can be. Get out of the relationship, because you want HAVING A LOT OF SEXUAL PARTNER IS JUST NOT RIGHT .. Men throwing themselves at women is acceptable in society. haha Also A LOCK that is open by any KEY is a USELESS LOCK!, To my point of view we all have our premises on how we chose our partners (size, color of eyes, color of hair, etc) for me the number of sexual partners of the person I would chose it would be also a factor I have to admit that bumping into a ex partner would be a negative effect but to me is more the idea of this person being more able of controlling herinstincts a bit better than an animal or not.. It comes in handy. Even to the point of death! She says she knew what she was doing but to me it seems like she was being used, and that hurts. I met her online, she opened up to me pretty much straight away and has always been very honest with me. Past DOES matter. So happy for you. Youre doing the right thing, love beats all just think how you would feel looking back at now when youre on your death bed about to pass onto the other realm. upbringing etc. my gf was honest about her past and i constantly bring it up whenever we argue not saying its right but I cant help but think about the number all the time. Is she a hoe or as you said on a hoe stroll? Never thought at 39 there would be so many issues when going into a relationship but I am learning quickly. Marry the person who you want to be with for the rest of your life. Our wisdom is a form a judgement. How do you think we feel? You cannot truly understand or know a person until you know just about everything. I agree. I could go on forever but Ill stop here. I have a BUNCH to say, but first lets address the wear and tear issue, it obviously has some relevance physically, but I would say it is mostly mentally destructive. Sex isnt an act that comes with an inherent morality- the ethical implications of sex all depend on the context. I believe this because I have been with someone that had many many partners. lover constantly complains that you nag them, try and find ways to fix this Women are yet to be seen as equals. One can only act so long before the truth comes out. Additionally, male and female sexuality is just different. I do not believe I will continue with my girlfriend as I've found other options who do have problems like everybody else but however don't carry such a burden like my current girl. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. The Virgin guy is one by choice. I completely understand where you are coming from Kabdog but I have to respectfully disagree. What did that really change? I'm looking for ways to reflect on this situation so I can movie forward in not let my toxic behavior leak out. I have yet to meet a woman that has had more than 50 sex partners and was in a solid, healthy, balanced, loving relationship. I am not a whore or a slut. My girlfriend of 8 months told me in the beginning of the relationship she had only been with 2 other men which were her past relationships. Men should realize that a low number of partners If you feel that this is the case, maybe consider whether it is fair for her to have you in her life. The commandment was and is for both genders of mankind. You know, I wish people would stop throwing the word perfect around. I am one who believes people can evolve and they can change. And for the women who cry out that the number of partners doesnt matter, then why not just be honest. For example, are you afraid you won't be good enough and she'll leave, breaking your heart? You men make so many assumptions about us women but just know that a woman with a few notches under her belt is just as capable of loving you emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically like any other woman. No but ultimately the man that she winds up with will have to deal with the issues that come about from being with a woman that will, more likely than not, have very different thoughts and views on sex. I never agreed with the cant turn a hoe into a housewife Because a man being a player is just a nice word for manwhore. As for Step your game up! Sex shouldnt be a competition. Men are different shapes and sizes therefore I beg to differ. Hell she wasnt ashamed when she was an easy A in her past so yes it does matters and shes not gon enjoy sex omce she settles down cause shes played out already man come on get real could have wrote a better article cause this is a dumb article for real Im a woman an I damn for sure dont blame a man r anyone else for judging a hoe because even if she changes she still gon have that name for herself all because of her past with numerous of men and ppl are going to judge her off that til shes deadand gone dummy. Past is in the past? The wear and tear should be the same from sleeping with 100 different men as sleeping with one man 100 times. I never disclosed about my past, however due to his inquisitive nature and the way he made me feel safe, I opened up to him and told him the truth. Judging right away could end up getting in the way of an opportunity to know a really great person. I could care less but its true. Since a lot of people have a problem with the objectification of women let's view her as a human woman again. I disagree with you. The person asking or the person who has the power to say yes or no ? Thank you, Lord, for writing my name in Your Lambs Book of Life and sealing me with Your Holy Spirit! Definitely dated and slept with two different things. Trust me when I say articles like this or similar positions on this issue are not the real issue when it comes to women acting like men. Or, if a man is already with a woman, and he truly loves this woman. We are happy. I have self-esteem. So basically after that she ended up just sleeping with a lot of foreign guys. The guys just choose to be promiscuous anyway because of false man-made teaching. Hoe Stroll is defined as a period of time where a woman is much more promiscuous than she has ever been or will be again. I AM SORRY, AS WOMENWE MUST HOLD OURSELVES TO HIGHER STANDARDSWHEN WE BEGAN TO LOSE OUR MORALS AND ACT LIKE MEN IS WHEN WE STARTED TO BE MORE LIKELY TO GET SHOT THAN MARRIED. I won't mind the number of partners if she is physically attracted to me. And if you married in your 30's so much for having a family. Maybe you just don't understand why she does it? People make assumptions and judge a woman who was promiscuous in the past without knowing her and what happened to lead her into becoming promiscuous. I still deal with the pain but I am far from the promiscuous young girl. Why are we so stuck on this? Its up to the individual to decide that for him or herself. Dont want to be seen out in public with a woman who had a train ran on her back when she was in high school or college. There is nothing wrong with your disagreement, but they way you go about it is very negative and very unnecessary. Also many people dont realize there are tips for men who are not well endowed to still be able to bring a lot of pleasure to their wives. For rich or for poor.. Even though maybe I shouldnt call them ignorant since I dont know them but in my opinion everyone is ignorant in some type of way. Though neither worked out I had two completely different experiences. Sorry but it is a cutoff and a major factor in a potential mate. Does that past lover (so to speak) affect her current situation? This shit is not a game. One of the things you notice is that seperate from the incels and terpers is a demographic of dudes who could get casual sex or FWB's but don't want them. Yeah so shut up lol. Many men are saying that they dont like this, and dont want to end up marrying a guy with a vagina. Most often it takes more than two relationships to find your life partner. Their sexuality is not only welcomed, it is encouraged and exploited by media as well as sex-worker and sex-entertainment industries. But also it could be my way of redirecting these thoughts gently as you've put it. Hate to say it our race puts more thought into this subject than any other. She is the woman who gets stereotyped as a slut simply because she likes to fuck around. And I wouldnt ignore the past in a realtionship either. If youknow your man is secure, then why wouldnt you tell him the truth? Men do not. Is this maths answer correct for probability? If at 20/21 youre still tacking up bodies, you have a problem!!!!!! So to simply go off of the number is in my opinion a misguided approach to understanding the person you are dealing with. This continued for 9 years or sountil one night having dinner with colleagues and i mentioned that i knew a lady that worked at a department store and she could get a discount for some one at the table.I was torn to pieces in front of everyone and humiliated! The problem that it really boils down to is that we women experience just as many urges, hardships, emotions, and whatever else that a man does yet for whatever reason we have to live by this stupid separate code. If he looks upset, I'll just say something like, 'I'm sorry,' when he stops talking. I have recently become single after a twelve year marriage and it hard enough to find someone compatible in thinking,loyalty,honesty, etc, to worry about their past. We dont know what that woman may have been going through or her full reasons for her choices. Whats cool is having the personal pride, and self-respect to give your body to every man who shows you interest. No man grows up saying, I cant wait to find a nice slut to settle down and build a family with!!. So clearly Im not assuming old-fashioned = not a slut. Wouldnt you feel like you are worthless? There really is no advice. Tough shit. so if you been with a lot of people you are NASTY!!! Im LOVING this.past partners MOST DEFINATELY have nothing to do with the present. The two women above were no different. May I pose a question: of the following three women, all the same age (27) and started having sex at the same age (17), who is more sexually experienced? But be careful with your in-person reaction to your significant other's confession. I sometimes dream about it, feel sad etc. Yes, there's a big difference. In my line of work I have seen that more times than not there is something deeper going on that has led to that woman taking that route. You know I feel you Jennifer. I dont know if youre a male or female judging by your username. ! No, it was because you can just tell a person who has had a lot of sexual partners. In choosing a partner for a relationship, matches up character and values is very important. I dont even make eye contact with other men. (Lets assume TONS is much larger than LOTS). There are so many things that enrage me about this article and the post below that I dont know where to begin Let me begin by saying that I am infuriated by the ignorance that surrounds this topic and the comments below. Sorry, bro. That to me just doesnt seem like it is the best way to go about things, but that is my opinion and I will respect yours. But here is what i do care about, how I get treated based on what she has gone through her past. THIS IS REALITY. Don't do it then. great number of men for the same reason. Yes Linda I agree. Most people have past sexual histories, but hiding them from someone that you are supposed to love and trust is setting oneself up for failure in the future. Whores will always be Whores no matter how you look at it. Again, you say the past shouldnt matter. Because in each of our lives (male and female)we have had that hoeing moment. I am not against a woman having sex, I just think that it should be The Student Room and The Uni Guide are both part of The Student Room Group. Unpaid whores arent worth much.Sluts dont get rings. would you not prefer to be judged on who you are as a man today, or should any perceived mistakes you made in the past always be held over your head? Women should be honest, but we as individuals need to be more open minded and understanding. So his sexual experience would be plus for him.but a lot of men, theyll have sex with a woman whos been Around the blockbut most will be hesitant to Wife her. No I dont want to do it again. The choices you make in life matter and have consequences. They need to evaluate if this man is worthy, if he will stick around, if he will man up and assist her in raising the child or at the very least pay child support. Men like to know what theyre investing in is rare. Sex is purely pleasing, its not emotional for me. Can you label them accurately? Very good point, I may have to edit the post and throw that in somewhere : ). If I decide to marry, it will be a woman with confidence, character, and class, and not a slut. He settled down and married his partner, Gabriella Wesberry, in 2010, the same year that Simply Red broke up after two and half decades together. All in all I think monogamy is a cruel joke. Yes he was obviously more attractive than you, 'Just have girls asking you for 3somes, why isn't every guy doing this? For example, if your first sexual experience is a violent one, pain could cause you to become numb sexually and emotionally. 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